A Caring Nation with Neighbours from Hell
Malaysia loves calling itself a “caring nation.” We've got campaigns. Theme songs. Banners flapping by the roadside. In every WhatsApp group, someone will forward a message saying, “Remember to take care of your ageing parents.” But when it comes time to actually open a care centre to help families do just that — guess who kicks up the biggest fuss?
Neighbours.
But not even the ones next door. Usually it’s someone two lanes away with "principles."
Not a Hospital, a Home
A good care centre should not feel like a hospital. No strong smell of disinfectant. No sterile, whitewashed walls. No constant beeping machines. That’s not where you want someone’s mum to spend her golden years. What we need are homes — real homes. A place with a little garden, a proper kitchen, the smell of rice cooking at noon.
So we go looking for landed homes in quiet neighbourhoods, places with trees, birds in the morning, and uncles who still wash their cars shirtless. Places that feel like, well, home. But to turn that house into a care centre, we need a license. And to get a license, we need neighbour approval.
That’s when things go from paperwork… to passive aggression.
Excuses, Fear, and Misunderstanding
They show up at community meetings all friendly.
“We support elderly care,” they say.
But when the application reaches the local council, the objections start flowing.
🚗 “It’s going to cause traffic! So many families visiting!”
💸 “It’ll bring down property prices!”
🗣️ “Old folks will be screaming at night!”
And the most baffling one —
🤯 “It could bring diseases.”
I’m sorry — which part of aunty playing carrom while waiting for her grandchildren sounds contagious?
The Painful Truth
We could pretend this is all a misunderstanding. But deep down, some people still see aged care centres as dumping grounds — not support centres. They assume if you send your parents to a care home, you’ve failed them. You’ve abandoned them.
The truth? Many children put their parents in care because they love them. They want them looked after by trained professionals, fed properly, given their meds on time, and surrounded by friends. They want their mum to have someone to talk to during the day — even when they themselves are stuck in meetings and traffic jams.
But try opening that kind of place in a “nice” neighbourhood, and suddenly you’re ruining the peace.
What's really ruining things? The sound of seniors laughing in the activity room? The smell of nasi lemak at breakfast? Or just the discomfort of seeing the ageing process up close — a reminder of what’s waiting for all of us?
Double Standards, Everywhere
Here's the irony: kindergartens open all the time with little resistance. Loud toddlers. Crying. Parents dropping off and picking up all day.
But when you want to open a care home where people sleep early, eat on time, and don’t make a peep past 8pm — it’s a problem. If it's not the ambulance noise, it's the trash bins. And when those arguments don’t stick, they resort to vague things like “bad energy.”
Bad energy? This isn’t a haunted house. We’re just trying to care for people’s parents — the way we hope someone will care for ours one day.
Who’s Really From Hell?
People love to rage online when they see videos of seniors being neglected. They forward news about children “dumping” their parents and say “So sad, how can anyone do this?”
But the moment someone tries to open a well-run, dignified, home-like care centre — who's first to sign the petition?
When you ask them why they object, they say:
“Oh, it’s not that I don’t care… but this area’s not suitable.”
“Maybe they can open somewhere else…”
Which really means:
“I support elderly care… just not next to my house.”
That’s not a caring citizen.
That’s a neighbour from hell.
There Is a Middle Ground — If We’re Willing
Look, not all neighbours are like that. Some drop by on opening day with kuih. Some say, “If my mum ever needs care, I’d send her here.”
But if we want more care centres — good ones, not warehouses for the forgotten — we need a mindset shift. We need to see these centres as part of the neighbourhood. As a service. As a symbol of love, not neglect.
Because eventually, we all age. And if it’s not us, it’ll be someone we love who needs a place like this.
And when that day comes, let’s hope the neighbours around us aren’t from hell — but from the caring nation we love to sing about.