My late dad had a heartfelt wish for all four of us siblings: to live in harmony and love. I'm grateful to say that we've managed to fulfill this wish, although keeping such a promise to a parent isn't always an easy feat.
The first week of March wasn't particularly cheerful for me, as I found myself fielding three calls about siblings entangled in disputes over their parents. Whether it was two sisters clashing over parental matters or a larger family, comprising over four siblings and five grandchildren, feuding over a parent and grandparent, the reasons behind the conflicts echoed the drama found in family series.
Reflecting on my dad's wisdom in preventing family feuds, or at least minimizing their impact, here are some key insights:
1. **Taking Responsibility:**
One of the children should take full responsibility, irrespective of their position in the family. Just as the human body requires distinct parts to function, there's a reason we were given one mouth and one head. Perhaps, two heads aren't necessarily better than one.
2. **Choosing the Right Time:**
It's crucial to back down, even when you're in the right, and wait for the opportune moment to address the situation as mature adults.
3. **Apologizing for Harmony:**
Apologize, even if you're in the right. Being right doesn't always trump the importance of maintaining a cordial relationship, as a good relationship can often make wrong things right.
4. **Humble Seeking of Help:**
The one who assumes responsibility must be humble enough to seek help when necessary. Just as the saying goes, "It takes a village."
5. **Inclusive Support:**
Allow other siblings to be part of the care support team if they wish to contribute. In unity, strength is found.
6. **Respecting Choices:**
Don't push those who choose not to be part of the care support team. Everyone may have their reasons, and it's essential to continue maintaining a cordial relationship with them.
7. **Avoiding Bragging:**
Refrain from bragging to others about taking full responsibility. Humility goes a long way in fostering positive relationships.
I hope sharing these pieces of my dad's advice proves helpful in navigating the complexities of family dynamics.
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