AUNTY CELINE DECEPTIVE CHECK IN

A thank you note from the son of Aunty Celine

Most family members, children, brothers and sisters suffered the burden of guilt when exploring and deciding on the fate of their loved ones.

To send their loved ones to a centre is traumatic and unsettling. Here is a story of Aunty Celine whom me and the son resorting to deception to bring Aunty Celine there.
There many more such stories but lets start with Aunty Celine's.

Sometime last year June Aunty Celine's son, Jules came to me with his wife to check out m place and to discuss about the possibility of checking his mother into my centre.

Jules started by saying, my mom is okay, standard statement, I get it all the time. My mom can walk she can do certain things herself, she was a bit forgetful.
She is generally healthy with some minor medical conditions. 

I then asked Jules, she seems ok, best for her o stay at home. I personally always held on to the believe that your own home is the best place. No money can turn our centres to be etter than your home.

Then Jules slowly opened up by saying that her mom can live with his wife, they have tiffs and make his middle man position very difficult. Mom on one side and wife on the other. This i understood but that was not a good enough reason to put your mom in my place.

Jules then told me that he had to travelled to Bangkok towork for a few months and won't be able to play the middle man role. But he will come back every few weeks or month.

So Jules asked me this question, "How shall I get my mom to move into your centre?" I said, "Easy, just tell your mo that you are going to work in Bangkok ad you won't be around for 3 months." 

Then I told Jules this truth. "Women regardless of their mental conditions somehow in their hearts understand what they want for their children. Women are also very practical, children able to make money overseas is something they can grasp. So do tell her the truth."

So Aunty Celine checked in. About a month later Jules called and said, "I am back in KL I want to talk to mom, but I told her I am back only 3 months later so what can I do?"

I said, "Oh we just do face time on your phone with mine, you can just talk to your mom. Just pretend that you are still in Bangkok and make sure the facetime video don't show anything from your home."

After about 8 months, things are more settled and going smoothly.

One of our job in caregiving is to reduced the trauma and stress of family members who had to make such a decision.

For all the children out there, don't feel bad.